So, I hear there’s been a lot of big changes in your life because you read my last blog…
Apparently, you discovered the secret to immortality, gained the favor of the benevolent pope. Donald Trump and the queen revere you and yet, your latest blogs grand total of likes has moved from a paltry 2, to a 3.
Ps. it was me.
Not to worry, your training is not yet complete my young Padawan for part two awaits you and it, is, awesome.
The New York Times gave it a five out of five. That guy with the thumbs gave it, “two thumbs up.” The Rock said that, “It smells good.” People’s magazine called it, “the cure for blogging.” Forbes Magazine roared, “The Lion is King,” but most importantly, your mother kind of liked it, and well, your cat, just can’t get enough of it.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I am one to invent a second, third and fourth party that could toot it for me, with all that said. Here’s part two. (Click here to check out part 1), (And if for whatever reason you are weird enough to read a third, well, here it is.)

The weather looks very promising today
Have a great lead in that will hook your readers!
Most times when people, like me, scroll past your blog, it’s normally because the excerpt, or the first few lines doesn’t speak to me. It has to resonate within the very depths of my soul. So, channel your inner Shakespearian if you must. Otherwise, I’ll be moseying on to the next thing. It’s kind of like speed dating when you think about it. So treat it like that.
For the most part, you should be excited about what you are writing. Writing is fun, and that excitement should permeate the entire post. But most importantly, be yourself. Don’t try to be me, I know I’m awesome but, you’re ok too. Besides, studies have shown that a planet full of Nerdy Lions would explode instantly, because—science.
Know your audience and find a niche
Take your time and realise who you are writing for. If you are writing for serial killers at large, it probably wouldn’t make too much sense to post about how much you dislike celebrities, unless you are secretly trying to get them killed. In which case you are seriously diabolical.
If your blog has a general theme, i.e fashion. When Kim Kardashian stumbles upon your page, (because it is so awesome) she will stick around because other posts will be related to the very thing that brought her there in the first place. So have a niche, or find a general theme and it will help your audience grow and give your profile some much-needed exposure, plus some bonus clicks!

A little smaller than I remember
Shorter posts (Aint nobody got no time for that.)
As I am sure a lot of you have realized by now. There is a sweet spot from 1200-1500 words, beyond that, most people are going to commit the cardinal sin of “skimming” and miss a lot of great content. So do yourself a favor and keep it tighter than a yoga instructor.
If you find that your post is beginning to resemble more of a dissertation than a blog post, go ahead and split it into multiple ones. Not only will you be able to go into more detail, but you will also have readers waiting for the thrilling conclusion to your posts.

This one is for the ladies
Drive traffic like a Nascar racer (Pinterested?)
I have yet to figure out the intricacies of Pinterest. So I cannot speak of its dark magic. But those who have managed to drench themselves with its warm malignant embrace still sing the graces of its glory. Apparently you can get thousands of extra views in a month. If you figure out how, please let me know.
SEO or Search Engine Optimization (since you asked), is very important as well. I, however am not a specialist, nor do I have enough money to get the plugin just yet. So I’ll leave a link here if I just tickled your fancy. Click here to find out more about SEO. Moz always has the answers

Avoiding these DM’s like…..
Advertisements
I know people need to make money, but there have been some blogs that I have tried to read and I literally couldn’t see the damn page because I was busy trying to dodge these pop up ads like I was Neo in the matrix. You want people to read your blog, not dodge bullets, even though that’s really cool if you can do that.
Side note: If you currently have the ability to dodge bullets, please teach me.
Focus on making better content. Write it, and they will come
If you write deep engaging content, people will be drawn to your blog whether you like it or not. So take time, think about why you are writing this post, think about the people who will benefit from it and do the best you can. This is one of the many reasons I post once a week. (Another blog, another time) The other is because I am lazy.
Provocative Pictures
Use pictures. Pictures are cool, see exhibit A. Remember, most people have ADD, well at least I do, if you don’t hook me like a fish right away, I am out. Honestly, a feature picture with a great title is like peanut butter and jelly you put some content inside of it and you got yourself a damn good sandwich.
This goes double if you are terrible at writing blogs like me, a great picture can make an otherwise boring post come to life and make people forget about your poor grammar. So go ahead, use that picture as a scapegoat and ride it all the way to the end.

When is season 4 coming out?
Don’t be so hard on yourself
Blogging is fun, enjoy writing and enjoy embracing your inner voice. If you are genuine and full of intent, great things will happen. So keep writing, keep sharing, keep engaging with others and slowly but surely your blog will grow and one day you’ll have a million followers (doubtful) and hell maybe the Rock will star in your documentary (Also doubtful.)
If none of this works, you could always commit blogger fraud and post about, “How you made millions blogging in the first month.” That always gets a look or two.
👍
Bravo !
That was a fun and informative post. The pics absolutely enhanced the message 😉
Thanks 😉
Picture’s worth a thousand words? You got me at “you’re welcome ladies” 😉 Haha, but in all seriousness, both parts of this post series were extremely helpful, thank you!
The reason I added that picture in there is because last week one of the girls that read my post wanted the Chris Evans picture from “Not another teen movie” with the whipped cream. So I compromised lol. Thanks for reading!
Maybe I’ll have to put that as the featured image for my next blog, I’m sure that’d haul in ALL the viewers XD You’re very welcome!
🙂
I’ve really enjoyed this and your last post, and as a skimmer myself I can happily tell you that I read both, from top to bottom 😉
Oooh la la 🙂 thanks for reading 😉
Flowers are the key. There’s a lady on here that posts pictures of flowers. No script, just flowers.
She regularly attracts over 1000 ‘likes’
Flowers.
Flowers it is!
Thank you Leo for another informative and fun post 🙂
I try my best 🙂
great post and really funny pictures!
What I also found very helpful for one of my other websites is creating a digital magazine/publication – I know we are here talking about blog posts but when it comes to like creating your own short story or promoting other things on your blog I can only recommend it as they also drive more traffic to your blog 🙂
Thanks David! 🙂
A very thought-provoking post Leo, and Part 1 as well. The two things it seems I might not be doing well enough are (a) not defining my niche/theme well enough so that I can effectively write to my audience, and (b) my pictures aren’t exciting enough. Time to make some adjustments!
I think it’s ok to not have a niche at first, I’m still trying to figure out mine as well. I think as long as you know your audience it will come with time. The pictures are super fun and easy to do. I just have fun with it. I normally just coordinate my pictures with the heading of each topic 🙂
After exhibit A … the words started to blur…it took some effort to continue reading, made it through to the end though, not exactly sure what I read, so will come back when focused. Just kidding. As always, a pleasure to read ! (this time exceptionally hahaha) If I am remembered, it will be for my comments, as a writer… 20 followers max…
You always get me with those comments lol. Thanks for reading 🙂 you’re awesome
I just left you a comment a moment ago on the first part which took me here.
I really like your writing; it’s just fun to read! I can’t wait to read your next post!
Hehe 🙂 thank you so much. I’m tickled.
This is probably one of the most hilarious posts I’ve read in a while. Thank you for making me laugh. 😀 Can’t wait for the next posts!
Thank you Lisa 🙂 I wrote part two already, it’s up on my page if you wanted to check it out. Thanks again for your comment 🙂
Read it already 😀 Loved it!
Awesome! 🙂
Hey, great tips. I must say you are an awesome blogger!!
Thank you so much 🙂 I really appreciate it.
First and foremost, it’s ALWAYS about PROVIDING VALUE – and millions of bloggers/writers forgetting about it due to many reasons 🙂
Couldn’t agree more. That’s why I only post once a week, it takes time to provide value.
First of all, I’M AWESOME…and YOU’RE okay too lol kidding! This was a great post. You’re absolutely right, especially about the shorter posts. I don’t know why people write all those words, expecting someone on the Internet to read all those words. Anywho, this was perfect 😉
You are awesome 🙂 for sure, don’t worry you are on the awesome list. The top in fact! Thanks so much for reading, I aspire to have a successful blog like you one day. 🙂
Awww thanks my dear!
Excellent Read! Gave me a little giggle! Good read before bed!
http://www.chronicallyroyal.co.uk
That’s good, giggles are the best 🙂
Even more great advice. Finding your niche is essential. I kind of feel like I’m still feeling it out, but having Aspergers, bipolar, chronic illness, and my passion for poetry and art have provided some ready-made niche categories for me.
Oh my….you are so enlightening! Thanks for sharing very informative insight to new bloggers! You should host a comedy night somewhere…..lol.
🙂 Thank you so much. I wish I could just get my wife to laugh lol.
So glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t get Pinterest. You’ve revived me
At this point when I see people with posts like (how I get 10000 views per month only using pintrest) I just scoff. I have done everything by the book, but honestly I only see like 2-3 people per week from pintrest. WordPress is in the thousands. Eventually I’ll try tailboard or whatever it’s called and see if that helps. Who knows. Maybe there’s a plug-in I’ll get that will help too. That stuff is expensive though.
Tailboard for the win if the name implies anything 🤓😆 but don’t sweat it you’re already king – No rhyme intended. It’s my second day on WordPress and already had more constructive sharing and found more interesting content than other platforms, so for now I’m a WP fangirl… Really glad I found your space too, so thanx for the interest!
Thanks Mira 🙂 WordPress is great. It’s a very large supportive community, I think you’ll like it here.
It’s 100% helpful that you’re hilarious!
Thank you 🙂 I’m glad it helps!
Wonderful informative posts … really like your writing style….☺️👍
Thank you so much 🙂 you guys make my day
How is this both incredibly informative yet hilarious at the same time?! Teach me your ways.
Tash – The-happening-collective.com
I’m not sure, I wish I could get my wife to laugh lol. I just write the way I hear it in my mind. Luckily we have a forum for that sort of thing. Also I don’t take life to seriously even though serious things happen. You write very well too. I have enjoyed a few of your posts already 🙂
hahaha, well i found it hilarious! Yet i took a LOT away from it!
Thank you so much, that is so kind of you 🙂
Read from top to bottom – though paused a while on the Chris Evans pic…
Don’t worry, it’s my wife’s favorite one as well 😉
Yeah, what the Lion said…
Inspiring!
I love this post and Why no one is reading your blog – Part 1 for several reasons. In both articles the advice strikes me as plausible and useful; the jokes are solid, relevant and abundant; the pics illustrate the points; and the length was spot on — both times I was quite just on the verge of skimming when the end showed up! Thank you!
Really enjoyed reading this. It was encouraging to a fairly new blogger like me and made me chuckle at the same time. Thankyou.
🙂 thanks I’m glad you enjoyed it! I’m sure your going to do great!!!
Thankyou.im enjoying the journey so far.
Ruh roh- I’m sort of thrilled by 2 or 3 likes! I can indeed bear witness to your veracity regarding the cleavage factor- my by far most viewed daily post coincided with a picture of miniskirted legs clad in lace…
It is good of you to stoke not shame our very human desire for approval.
Absolutely 🙂 We are visual creatures so a picture can literally make me want to click on a post.
You are an entertaining read. Keep up the communication. I am enjoying it.
Thanks a bunch 🙂
“I know people need to make money, but there have been some blogs that I have tried to read and I literally couldn’t see the damn page because I was busy trying to dodge these pop up ads like I was Neo in the matrix. You want people to read your blog, not dodge bullets, even though that’s really cool if you can do that.”
I so agree. I actually laughed out loud at the Neo part.
My all time favorite movie <3 the matrix! Thanks for reading Nia. 🙂
Plenty to think about in these two posts. Thanks for your time and insight.
Thank you for reading!
I love reading your blog post. They are funny and witty. You have such good advice too! Thank you nerdy lion you have helped me on my blogger journey. ❤
Thanks so much I really appreciate that. We have such a great community here I know you will flourish.
Great tips. I’m always very hard on myself. I at times hold back because I don’t wan to get too emotional but I write emotional poetry at times that’s too emotional. Great read, I like your style.
Got to be true to yourself. There’s a lot of people including me, that love emotional poetry. One of the things I battled with when I first started this blog was writing style, should I write like how I write my books? Or should I write like how I talk to my friends? I think it’s a great idea to be genuine to who you really are, so if it’s emotional I think your passion will shine through and you will enjoy writing much more. 🙂
I think I just love poetry, and try to write like I feel it. I hope I do anyways…
Helpful. I am terrible at marketing myself and my site.
The information here was gold, but the way you put it definitely stole the show. This was hilarious. Look forward to more posts.
I’m really happy you enjoyed it. My wife can’t stand my analogies lol.
Great post again Leo. I love the creativity of how you post. I don’t want to be like you, but your wit and humor is worth a million bucks! I think you missed your calling. You could be a stand-up comedian. Thanks for the awesome tips.
Thanks for the tips! Question: are blogs as popular as they used to be? Is WordPress as popular as it used to be? I had a blog here about five years ago and it seemed much easier to get views on it. It could be content related, but I was wondering about the current zeitgeist of blogging?
I can’t speak to a comparison between blogging back then and now, but the climate seems pretty positive to me, especially if you write about meaningful things or blogging of course 🙂
Provocative pictures is a way to go haha 😂
Aww yeah! 🙂
Nice post and blog! Useful, sharp and funny.
I am following you now.
Well done!
Regards
Thank you so much 🙂 there’s more to come!!
Very true about the first few lines and the picture determining whether people click or not!
Very helpful article 🙂 Thank you for the tips!
Also, I absolutely adore your writing style!!! …and Chris Evans too… :))
I’m sure Chris will be back 😉 and me of course.
Again… I enjoyed this very much!!!!
🙂 hope you come back!
I read part one and couldn’t help but read Deux lol. Awesome insight and not like I’ll take you word for word but will take your advice and apply it 😛 Thank you for sharing. This was really good information with humor that kept me reading!
Thank you so much Richards 🙂
Thank you for writing this post and the last. I have learned from it. I am going to thin deeply about my blog!
Thanks for the tips. Newbie here, need all the tips I can get 👍🏻. Great read
You will do great! There’s a lot of awesome advice out there, but the main thing is to have fun first, then worry about everything else.
Awesome post.The factual points are elaborated. Thank you for the post
🙂
I will definitely check it out
Your blog posts are so fun to read and I’m also learning a lot!
I’m happy you are enjoying them 🙂
hmm the neighbors said their pet food company told them 250 words. but Google likes more. i try for 500 but usually end up closer to 1,000, or more in your range, like essays. i’m doing this daily til 100 posts but then going down to 3 a week when i hope to re-start the book. so the number range is interesting. more thoughts, Leo?
It depends on the type of post, but pretty much no matter what, I wouldnt go over 1500. 250 is fine, but obviously theres not going to be much content there. Its all in preference, I just know that anything over 1500 its very difficult to maintain the readers attention. Thats why its good to stay below it.
cool, i am trying to keep it much shorter, but failing. i just heard the average attention span is less. as you write once a week, a longer post makes sense.
I have yet to figure out the intricacies of Pinterest. So I cannot speak of its dark magic. But those who have managed to drench themselves with its warm malignant embrace still sing the graces of its glory. Apparently you can get thousands of extra views in a month. If you figure out how, please let me know. >>>>>> GODDAMIT YOU WILL WRITE ABOUT YOUR EXPLOITS AND LEARNINGS FROM THE LAND OF THE DARK MAGICIANS. YOU WILL EDUCATE US OF THE OCCULT WAYS. YOU WILL SHOW US HOW TO SYSTEMICALLY DO THAT CAUSE I HAVE TRIED AND FAILED. You’re awesome yo, you make me wanna write more
Thanks my friend. I will walk through the valley of death and emerge victorious with more wisdom than ever thought possible.