This series has given me so much joy to write and for whatever reason, a lot of people have enjoyed reading it as well. So, this Blogmas, old saint Lion is coming to town with a new bag of tricks and all the fixings of awesome that you enjoy. That’s right, I’m bringing it back like Ghost busters, Jurassic park, Star wars or – something cool, (directed by Christopher Nolan and starring Leonardo Dicaprio of course). But this time…IT’S FOR REAL! Unlike some movie reprisals, I really hope that this post lives up to its previously high billing. I’m looking at you Robo cop……
The existence of my blog
If the blogosphere is the universe, then I am the sun, so with that said, it might play a large, some would say “cosmic” reason as to why no one else is reading yours. There’s only enough space for mine. I’m joking of course, I’m merely a lion pawing away at his keys hoping for a few likes and comments from his readers or reader from time to time. Please come back, I can’t even get my wife to read this thing, so that says a lot about me.
By the way, have you read my blog?
As you have most likely heard by now, my blog can do it all, dance, sing and model. It’s a triple threat baby! If you are looking to improve your blog, or get more readers, go ahead and check out my first two entries of the epic trilogy. “Shameless plus alert” (Why no one is reading your blog – Part 1 and Why no one is reading your blog – Part Deux)
If you don’t know, now you know.
Does the carpet match those drapes (It’s the Décor you filthy animals)
Look no one else is going to tell you this, but I care, I really do. You have a booger the size of Wyoming and if you don’t extricate that malignant beast no one will ever visit your blog. Your blog should corral prospective readers into checking out more content, not send them away. So, much like Scarlett Johannsson on a Sunday morning (or my wife, love you baby!) it should be easy on the eyes, hard on the eggs and extreme on the bacon – high cholesterol be dammed!
Depending on your blogging platforms limitations, make sure to change your layout to accommodate easy access. (Wink wink) Keep your page clean, concise and avoid pop-up add-ons like you’re in an episode of the walking dead.
Just so you know, your blog is not an Egyptian ruler desecrating and buried in an old sarcophagus. Spring back into the realm of the living by sharing your old posts. You never know who might need to see your post at any given time. The topics you are writing might save someone’s life, help them reach their full potential, or awaken the brimming serial killer inside just waiting to get out. So whatever you do, don’t give up on it. Save a serial killer today.
In a world, where social media websites pop up like a game of whack a mole, you have boundless places to promote your site. So be bold, be persistent and for the love of god sign up for stumble upon, Facebook and the like. I still haven’t figured out the black magic that is pintrest and I am quite pintrested at this point. Get it? Pintrested? Because I am interested in….Pintres…….
Trust your voice…
Yes it may be weird, most likely awkward as hell, but guess what? It’s you and someone out there likes that person even if you are a psychopath hell-bent on destruction, or the Don himself.
When you are genuine to yourself and your voice, not only will that reflect in your readers it will reflect on the type of friends you attract as well. (Life lesson advice) So go ahead and embrace yourself, your strange, odd, awkward, nerdy, only-talked-to-one-girl that-one-time self and maybe just maybe you won’t be alone when you watch the world burn.
Don’t question it, I am a nerdy lion after all.
Categories (Cuz you a window shoppa)
You know, like that 50 cent song when he was a relevant rapper….no? ok.
Every girl likes to window shop. So, make it easy for your readers to do so, organize your blog posts into categories. You don’t have to be super clever here, but if you have a post about bodybuilding and fitness, put it under – well, bodybuilding and fitness. That way, when Dwayne the Rock Johnson reads your page about tips on how to get even bigger, he can know exactly where to look. Don’t mess up, the rock is still cooking these days and I hear it tastes fantastic.