If you are one of the amazingly wonderful two people that read my blog, you probably sound something like this right now. “But, but Lion, how could a generalized anxiety disorder actually be a good thing? Anxiety is the most deplorable thing this side of cancer, what do you mean? I’m triggered.”
Look, let’s not get all trigger happy, I hate anxiety as much as the next guy or lion. In fact, if I could call the ghost busters to exterminate it from existence, I would – but I can’t. Trust me, I tried it, called their number and as you might have guessed, they had the nerve, the unmitigated gall to not answer. But, there is an upside to having a generalized anxiety disorder. Yes…there is!
Also, this beckons the question, who do you call when the ghost busters don’t answer? Is there a secondary line or something? This falls into my “three greatest questions of all time” along with the other one “What was the rock cooking?” if you were so inclined to wonder. Find out what the third one is……one day, randomly, in a galaxy far far away.
You are not alone. Welcome to the brotherhood of generalized anxiety disorders
You just joined a huge brotherhood of anxious people. Welcome, my child. Now, with that out of the way, meet brother Charles and sister Ruth, Alex, Ashley, Matthew, Mark, Luke, Bartholomew, John, Leviticus, Titus and the rest of the disciples of Jesus Christ our lord and saviour.
The beautiful part about all of this is, you are not alone, and gosh darn it, you might be the chosen one. The one who can break free from the shackles and get rid of anxiety forever, you might just be the one true Morty…Or Neo if you love the matrix like me.
Having pretty much the entirety of planet earth on your side is a good thing, it can come in handy for all sorts of things; like zombie apocalypses or other world ending events. Most people suffer from some form of anxiety so you are not special.
Well I guess you are “special”, but not in the cool way. (Ok, you are cool, but don’t let it go to your head.)
The point is, you have inherited a merry band of misfits you can talk to. So, with that said, stop being a negatron alone in your room moping around all the time. Cheer up and be an optimist prime. Don’t worry, we don’t bite. That is, if you don’t want us too. As a lion, I typically enjoy the occasional gnaw and chew, so if that’s something you are interested in, I can make that happen.
You learn how to deal with stress better
Essentially, when you have a general anxiety disorder, you feel like a walking pile of poop. In order to stop feeling like human excrement, you must change your mindset and habits. So, should the situation arise where something stresses you out, let’s say, the Joker coming into town. Now you will be well equipped with your utility belt and suit of armor to fight him and stop the impending downward spiral that his face alone will cause.
Beyond that, you know what you can and can’t handle. Sure, Batman can tussle around with the Joker, two-face, and all those other goons, but when General Zod comes beaming down from Krypton, its time to call the Justice league…
Knowing the things you can handle and the things you can’t control, (like the weather, life and death, the future, your wife…) this should leave you feeling less stress, because logically there are things you really can’t do anything about, so why sit around and worry about them?
Besides, ignorance is bliss.
You appreciate the simpler things in life
The world and all of its beauty is a glorious thing, but we simply don’t appreciate it enough. Most people walk about this mortal vale with their heads shoved way up their buttholes and aside from Mr. Poopy butthole himself, that’s not a very good thing.
This becomes painfully evident when you have a generalized anxiety disorder. Mainly because you literally cannot breathe and most times the world feels like a tempest of heaviness beading down on you. Its only until the weather breaks and the sky clears that you can see the sun trying to shine its auspicious rays upon you.
Its just unfortunate that we have to go through our darkest hour in order to see just how beautiful dawn truly is.
Its kind of like that song by Passenger, “you only need the light when its burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go……and you let her go”
You might have just figured out your purpose in life….
There’s this really cruddy thing that I like to call “the crisis.” Yes, I do realize it sounds like a sci-fi dystopian novel, but its actually just your life. It used to be exclusively called the mid-life crisis. But these days the crisis is happening earlier and earlier and because of it, many millennials like myself are encumbered by a wave of anxiety.
I actually cover the ugly realities of the crisis here The Crisis, and how your parents play a huge part in it.
Once you do resolve the meaning of life and decide to be “ok” with the way the world is and accept your place in it, (which let’s be honest is on Instagram) then your general anxiety disorder tends to fade away. Sure, it will pop up now and again, but at least now that you have peered into the infinite light of the glowing ether you know that everything is going to work out and I suppose that’s a good trade-off right?