How to promote your blog like its going on tour

I get it, you’re a blogging all-star, you got your game on, go play. Hey now, you’re a rock star, get the show on, get paid! But the thing is, all that glitters isn’t always gold, you’re not the only shooting star, and you certainly didn’t break the moow-ooold.

You know what that means? Its time to promote your blog.

By now, you are smart enough to realize that your website is going to go nowhere fast, especially if you don’t promote the hell out of this thing like the world’s best used car salesman. That’s right, if you rest on your laurels and wait for lottery game of, “going viral” you might as well set your posts to private. (nothing wrong with that by the way).
Otherwise, pray to the WordPress gods, sacrifice your first-born on the altar of the omnipotent “reader” and hope that your offering suffices, or you could simply go read my post on why no one is reading your blog. I’ve heard that its helped trillions – somehow.

Now, I’m not under any delusions that my blog has more than two readers and neither should you. The good news is, one day we will have a stadium full of people chanting our name, but for now I’ll settle for an empty stadium with a few drunk guys who got lost. I can work with that.



promote your blog like its on tour


Every rock star starts out in an empty stadium. (Promote your blog by foot)


Right now, you are a grassroots band. That means that essentially you only get playtime in those festivals where everyone and everything is high. What this also means, is that you need to really sell your soul for rock and roll if anyone is going to hear the sweet music you make. This means the usual suspects; Facebook, twitter, reddit, Instagram, a whopping side of SEO and the enigma that is pintrest.

If you are going to promote your blog, you will have to do much if not all of the footwork, mainly because no one knows who the hell you are. So, get a nice comfortable pair of shoes and walk it out. You know those poor souls that have to sell random contraptions and go door to door to barely make ends meet? Yeah, that’s you right now. You need to put in a lot of work, sharing, liking, engaging, commenting, maybe even party favors if that’s your thing. Show a little leg, I don’t care.




Better Call Saul.

Putting up posters (Promote your blog through Blogger engagement)


You don’t have an epic front man to promote your blog like Drake or Jay-z, instead your going to have to be like Peter Parker during the day time delivering pizzas door to door. Every engagement is crucial, in fact you could say that blogging engagement is like a relationship…


This is the moment of truth, the moment where you become the best version of yourself. And when I say “best version” I mean, finally employing those used car salesman tactics I mentioned earlier.

That’s right, you are going to take it into overdrive and engage, engage, engage. When you engage with other bloggers you show up on their radar and appear suddenly, like you just took off the one ring.

Whilst these engagements might not seem important at first, over months and years of engaging with other bloggers you will attain a following of genuine people and that core base is essential, until you become famous of course.



No one showed up, but we still rocked.

The first gig


This is your first decent post, you know, the one where someone actually decides to put you out of your misery and click “like.” Hell, they might even comment if they are feeling particularly benevolent. Like most bloggers, you are over the moon with joy and hopefully use this comment to bolster a blogging career like none other.

When these kind creatures who clearly feel sorry for you decide to click, comment and (even more unlikely) re-blog, you should respond with the utmost grace and fervor, even if such a thing doesn’t exist. I say this because, it may never happen again.

Of course, I jest, (partially) but remember these people, give them shout outs and link their profiles, a massive part of promoting your blog is actually retention, don’t lose the readers you already have, especially if you only have two like me. I can’t lose one, then I’ll only have a “read-er.” Doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.



I speak in noises.

Record Deal (Promote your blog through guest posts)


So, for some reason, you got signed. Some daft blogger liked your post so much that they decided they wanted you to guest blog on their site, the catch is they have 20k followers and for the first time in history more than two eyes will be on your blog.

These people are the gate-keepers, the blogging superstars, the avengers if you will. So, if there’s anyone’s feet you should be kissing (but seriously don’t because that’s disgusting) it should be them.

Aside from witchcraft and a lot of begging, the only way this is going to happen is by writing quality content and focusing on your voice. If you look at your blog as a product, think carefully, would someone buy it? Make sure your home page is attractive and lends people into wanting to read further and maybe if your lucky, someone who can really make seismic shifts happen will discover your blog. (Still waiting over here)

Pay attention, sometimes big entities are looking for guest posts or full-time guest writers, this is your chance to shine!!! Magazines and other big websites constantly look for writers to help them write content, this can help you promote your blog and exponentially increase your exposure. This should be very exciting, but it’s always good to remember that you are writing to an audience that has never seen your work before, so make it good.

No pressure.



please remember us.

One hit wonder


My dear lord you just went viral, you’re not sure how, definitely not sure why, but who cares, you made it baby. Now its time to parlay that post into something—more, more followers, more loyal fans and if you’re into it – money. (Then again, who am I kidding. We’re all broke)

This beautiful shining post that you made, the one that will surely bolster you into fame and glory, needs to be shared with the entire planet earth. If you could devise a virus that could infiltrate every orifice, every computer, phone and network with your post, hell – do it. In fact, I’ll help you do it. I don’t mind getting my paws dirty.

Congratulations, you’ve just joined the “how I did this club.” You too can go onto Pintrest and add pins like “How I got 1 million followers” or “how I made a million dollars suddenly.” I’m happy for you I really am, but remember, the most important thing you need to do when you go viral (and this is integral to your success) is to make sure and link my website to that post.



Rip Chester, Linkin Park for life.


Sophomore Slump



Yeah, that’s right, you finally wrote something decent and it went viral, now what?
The unfortunate thing about that killer album you wrote, is that you will never reach the pinnacle again. Try as you might, you will only be met with words of disapproval. “You sold out.” “You used to be so great.” “How did you make hybrid theory and then make minutes to midnight?” (RIP Chester)

Its tough being the unicorn or even worse – chasing one. That’s why I write absolute drivel, at least that way I can aspire to something one day.



James Hetfield looking like a Lion in the 80’s. I wasn’t born yet, otherwise I would have been the only baby there.

Headliners – Promote your blog to a target audience by advertising


If you’re anything like me, advertisements sound way too expensive and completely unnecessary. However, to bigger bloggers who truly know their audience it can be quite effective. If you have dialed into and honed your niche, you should have a very specific audience that you currently write to. But, like any rockstar you want to have more exposure and that means playing for a bigger audience, bigger tours…. Metallica.


So, whilst advertising can be cumbersome and cost you some pretty bitcoin, it can help gain you that highly coveted exposure you have been craving. Or not, maybe you’re like me and just write what you want to write and hope to god people enjoy it.

But then again, you’re a blogging rock star, I’m just a nerdy lion.


Non-Important message: I hear the re-blog button has been purportedly broken due to so many of you hitting it for the sake of my blog. Please continue to do so, in fact – do it twice just to make sure its working properly. Thanks.



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