Blogging has its peaks and valleys, but lately it’s been a whole lot of valley and no peaks. You remember the days when you had that ephemeral 50-view post, but now things are beginning to look bleak. Its been a tough few weeks for your blog. You’ve noticed the steady decline, from 50 views to 10 – all the way down to a paltry 2. You were once a proud blogger with aspirations of glory and success, now you beg for a simple “like” and prostitute yourself off on the nearest Facebook blog share post. With tears strolling down your face, you believe this might be the end to your prolific blogging career. Your blog is dying – and you might be right unless, you want to do something about it!
I share in your pain, I really do. I once shed tears for bloggers who have long since passed, now I simply drink them and it tastes delicious. In case you’re wondering, they come in two flavors, fruit punch and mango pineapple.
All blogging beverages aside – if your blog looks like the grim reaper has come to reap the remains of your latest post, its time to resuscitate that sombitch. No blogs are dying on my watch, even if that means we have to put you on a respirator.
Oh, and there will have to be a few surgeries, highly cosmetic of course. A butt and breast augmentation might steer things in your direction and keep your blog interesting at least. Hell, who am I kidding? Your blog is going to look so good, by the time I’m finished with it, you might end up winning a Leibster award, (Doubtful) or a lame old Grammy.

Look at me fam…
Social media make over.
{Blogging is a lot like being in a relationship}, if you want to keep the eternal pyres of passion burning, you have to put in some effort. Put out once in a while and for god sakes show some cleavage. Do the things other blogs are trying and do it better. Otherwise, your blog is going to die a slow lonely death and your once loyal following will migrate over to me. (Whoops, too late)
Reinvigorate your blog by sharing your page to the world! You’ve admittedly been a bit of a prude, but its time to show what you got. Even if it isn’t pretty.
Well — I suppose if you are going to bare it all to the world in your finest birthday suit, you could do with a bit of a make over.
Put your best foot forward and publish content that you are actually proud of. Mitigate grammatical and spelling mistakes so that when other’s read your posts, they see it for the shining beacon of excellence that it is. Doing all of this will make it easier for others to share your work and leave you feeling confident in what you shared as well.
What’s that? You don’t know how to share?
You spoiled little brat.
Learn how to share your blog and stop it from dying.
If you want to keep this blog alive, you will have to not only master the ways of the force, but also how to share on each major social media network. I’m talking about the usual suspects, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and the enigmatic entity known as Pintrest. Essentially, this could be a post in and of itself, but like the loyal Lion I am, I’m going to try to condense all of this information into a tiny neat package for you. Now you can take with you to work in the morning. (Boy, you are lucky I’m in a good mood.)
Facebook: Join blogging groups. I repeat, join blogging groups. If you are really clever, join groups that are also in your niche (if you have one). For example, if you blog about anxiety, join an anxiety support group, then engage and share within the forum. Beyond that, create a sharing schedule and become proficient in when and where each post can be shared, as every Facebook blogging group has a day where you can promote your blog as much as you’d like.
Pintrest: Pinning is one-part witchcraft and the other part Narnia……Use a free program like Canva to create your own engaging indelible pins. Then proceed to pin, repin and pin some more. That’s right, stick it in really good. You need to pin like you really mean it. Pin like you are at singles speed dating and people need to see your damn name. Set up a business account as quickly as you can and then get rich pins. You heard right. Rich pins. No they do not make you rich, but they enrich the pins themselves with more detail and metadata which make your pins more searchable and pinnable.
There is a method to the madness however, one that I am still working out myself. And because I am not the authority on all things pintrest check out this page which should bridge the gap for you in my stead.
Instagram: “Doing it for the gram” is a very exciting endeavour. By now, you might already be a hotshot Instagram model, if so, your blog shouldn’t be dying. If it is, you are not doing it right. I know, I know, you hashtag with the best of them, but you still have to put in the time like anyone else and engage with other grammers. Like posts, comment and follow people, sprinkle a little fairy dust and you will see growth there as well.
Instagram can be quite gratuitous however, with all of the shimmering skin and lack of clothing, it’s a wonder why you can’t get any viable traffic. That just means you have to work twice as hard. Ladies, its time to bring out the big guns, I’m talking machine guns…show it off girl. I won’t be mad. (Sorry guys, you might be screwed.)
Twitter: “I am the best tweeter in the entire world, my tweets literally save American lives every single day. I’m pretty sure that without my tweets, twitter as a whole would cease to exist.” – Donald Trump. See the P.O.T.U.S account for more information.
Keep your blog interesting by trying something new, sexier tag lines.
It’s not enough to create a fantastic blog post, you need to make them want to read it. Learn the art of seduction. Wear that red dress I left out for you and leave them wanting more.
I mention this in my previous post. “Why no one is reading your blog.” Which, you really should read right now because your blog is dying and you need anything and everything at your disposal, you sad deplorable mess you. But since you are already here grovelling at my paws, I suppose I could teach you a thing or two.
Your title is everything. These babies need to sizzle off the stove and force your audience to click on the post. Remember, there are millions of posts everyday, so yours needs to stand out, make your title something so delicious, so insatiably appetizing, that they have to devour every single bite. Instead of a, “blogging 101: an introspective perspective on todays societal need to blog sporadically” (yawn) try “5 ways to catapult your blog into the blogosphere.”
Now you have them on the hook, so reel them in…. your lead-in needs to be exciting and show them all the reasons they should read on…..so do that. Remember that cleavage I mentioned before? Yeah, now’s the time to whip out the twins.

She knows who the real queen is
Engage with other bloggers to keep your blog interesting.
Yep. You just went polyamorous. But this time it’s totally fine. Don’t worry I checked with your husband. Clicking like and leaving nice comments does not constitute cheating…I think.
Listen, your blog is already dying, you might as well make some new friends while you’re at it. Who wants to go down in a burning building alone? (Not me!) Bring some friends along for the ride. Learn some quality flirting techniques and “comment”, “like”, “strip down.” (Always a winner.)
Doing this will increase your exposure, overall blogging reach and might result in a bunch of $1’s coming your way.
The best part about engaging, is that its free and easy to do, besides, it doesn’t take much time to drop a like or a comment on an awesome post you just read (cough cough wink wink). Most likely, you will make that bloggers day and it exponentially increases the chance that they visit your blog in the future.

No one is more consistent that sally here
Writing consistently will stop your blog from dying.
Blog consistently, be a reliable commodity, a pillar stone of the blogging community if you will. Being spontaneous (ironically) is not what the doctor ordered. Readers are looking for a golden retriever who is loyal. You are not the lovable bad boy of blogging and you damn sure don’t need to be.
Repetition and consistency are some of the best things for your blog, because readers will show up and anticipate your posts week after week. I post every week on Monday at 10:00am (Don’t quote me) and every week the same two people tune in and read my blog. (Thanks, you guys)
You might not be cute, but at least you show up on time looking somewhat presentable. Be persistent and eventually someone is going to read your page, even if it’s your mom.
SEO (Seeking Engagements Online)
Search engine optimization is something I recently decided to stop ignoring, it’s really easy to set up yoast seo on wordpress and add metadata to your blog posts. Go through every post you have and add metadata snippets so that when people search for your topic they have a chance to see your blog post. Hey, its free traffic. Don’t you like free stuff?
Game over….you’re still dead.
Turns out, there is a lot of reasons your blog is dying and regardless of all of our efforts your page will inevitably crumble. I could not fit everything into this post. So, one day in a post near you, part two is coming baby.
As usual, comment, follow, subscribe, share all over the place and have a nice day.
Some really good pointers, thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading 🙂
Hehe show some cleavage!! 😂 excellent post, as usual.
Thanks sweetheart 🙂
Your posts are awesome, man. Thank you for your insight.
Thanks for reading Leon!
You got it, dude!
LOL, fun post Leo, fun.
I have to figure Pinterest out. Already use some SEO, which helps. Make sure to have metadata on all your images. Also Stumbleupon is great for generating traffic.
I’m slowly figuring out Pinterest. I got rich pins and this weekend I got over 50 views just from that so I’m very encouraged.
Damn, I’m going to get some richness for my pins. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll switch to a business Pinterest tonight.
You truly are my inspiration (knight in shiny lion armor). And btw it’s more than two persons (hair flip). Love you and your blog so much (my favourite blogger) ❤
Thanks sweetheart. You’re almost as sweet as chocolate 🙂
I loved this post! It was funny and uplifting! Something I really needed to hear right now! Thank you for the ideas!
I’m happy you enjoyed it. All my posts are uplifting. Funny? Well. I try but I’ll let others be the judge haha.
Well…I’m judging…and I think they’re funny!! I’ve already looked at 3 more. I’m hooked! Thank you again!!
<3
Oh my goodness …. I’m in awe (and complete confusion). I am now going to re-read everything you’ve just posted and work it all out! Thanks so much ☀️
🙂
Going to have to try Pinterest see what it’s like. This blog is really good.
🙂 thank you.
Haven’t got a clue how to use Pinterest though 😣
I’m still figuring it out. Got to have a business account, rich pins and joint group boards. There’s alot to it though. I wish I had been using Pinterest a long time ago. It’s tough starting up now. But it can be done.
I will figure it out eventually think I will have to watch some YouTube videos 😂
Yeah, I think it takes time too. Theres alot of get rich quick stuff out there with regard to pintrest.
That’s like most things everything takes time.
Thanks for sharing your advice. I’ll work on the cleavage lol
Just get a push up bra, they work wonders.
Some great advice! And told amusingly 🙂
🙂
“You might not be cute, but at least you show up on time looking somewhat presentable. Be persistent and eventually someone is going to read your page, even if it’s your mom.”
LOL you make me laugh every time!!!! 🙂 this is so true. Great advice!! I’m trying to really work on my Pinterest and Instagram game lately haha
Yeah Pinterest is something else. I am starting to get some traction but not as much as I want. Eventually we’ll get there. 🙂
Thanks for for reading
LOL! Thanks for an insightful and entertaining read!
Hahaha, what a lovely (?) way to make the death of a blog seem slightly less morbid 😂
lol. I do what I can haha.
Great post! It is funny, interesting and uplifting! 🙂
Thank you 🙂
Nerdy Lion,
You’re so entertaining and informative all at the same time! Love it! Thank you for the laughs as well as the reality check. 😀
Very nice tips! Thanks you very much, I’ll be sure to utilize them with my blog. 🤙
😂🔥🔥🔥😀 fun, amusing and informative all at once…I’ll be sure to freshen up my make-up and tune in next Monday @10am with the other two diehard followers. Normally, i don’t look forward to Monday’s 😀
Holy crap, are you telling me I get 3 readers now? I might have to put you in my next post and highlight you as my 3rd reader haha. I’m happy it made monday less crappy. 🙂
Don’t you have to pay extra to have WordPress plugins? So Yoast SEO technically isn’t free.
Ahh! You totally got me. My mistake. I completely forgot about that. Forgive me? <3
Of course!
You have indirectly saved my blog
You’ve made my Mondays less sucky lol thanks ❤
♡♡♡ I’m glad that my post did that for you. Monday’s do suck pretty bad lol.
I seriously love all of your posts. Thank you! 🙂
Thanks Eli 🙂
Your advise is so incredibly amazing!! I am still a newbie when it comes to blogging but I noticed it needed to show some cleavage ASAP! lmao Thank you so much for all the advise, I take it to heart!
🙂 I hope it helps
Thanks for the tips. I didn’t know the thing about rich text. I have a lot of social media accounts but Pinterest is definitely not my strong suit. I’m going to try out what you suggested.
Yeah Pinterest is a tough one. I’m just starting to see some traffic coming from it now.
Sorry for spamming your blog with likes but you inspired me so much when it comes to blogging. 🤓 I am still pretty much a newbie and damn you are RIGHT, my blog needs to show some cleavage ASAP! lmao 💁🏽 Your content is great and I LOVE your writing style! So yeah, thank you so much for sharing this! You definitely saved ma ass 😂💜
No worries I’m just glad you enjoyed it. Really appreciate the kind words. I hope you become a great blogger!
thank you very much, Leo! =]
So many awesome tips wrapped up in a delightfully humorous package- thank you!! 🙂
Thank you for reading the post <3
Your advice is the only reason my blog is surviving, from one predator to another, thank you.
For all your help, I have nominated you for an award (participation is at your own leisure but just thought I’d let you know of your impact!)
https://bearybestblog.com/2018/03/14/a-liebster-award/
Thanks dear 🙂 or should I say bear. I know you don’t like to associate yourself with those animals.
I’ve learned to accept my fate!
You are hilarious. I needed this.
This was very informative thank you for sharing.x
This is so helpful, thank you!
I got nothing to worry about *starts pulling at the ever tightening collar* so what I got out of this was you like pictures of nude men with bananas, mascara and eyelashes and are a huge Don Trump fan!!! With that combination no wonder you are so successful. I’m off to find a pic of the president naked with mascara on eating a banana look at my followers soar!!! Great post mate
I appreciate the tips man! Thank you for this post! I see you were also a fan of the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy back in the day! Great show!
The good ol’ days haha. I miss that show
Thanks! I’m JUST getting started with this blog thing 😉 But this was more than fun to read…kinda like a chest bump in the bull pin before things really get started! I loved the visual “strip down…always a winner” 😅
Laughed and learnt a lot n now to apply it then mission accomplished
Interesting read 🙂
I really had to follow…it’s like u know the way to my heart…and brain…and I dont know which other part to mention. Great work
Hehe, thats unbelievably sweet of you to say :), its people like you that make blogging so enjoyable for me 🙂
Now thank u…..
I just wrote my first blog. Check it out https://dontbeatree.wordpress.com/2018/04/08/reflection-is-key/
nice post…. thank you for sharing
Thank you 🙂
your welcome
I’m here for the Billy and Mandy photo! Reading your post inspired me to continue pursuing blogging!
Billy and Mandy was so funny. I thought it fit the post so well haha. I’m happy your still blogging, keep going!
Wow nerdy lion!! What a brill post! So enlightening. Thank you so much for sharing, vety valuable stuff! I often find that once people know certain tipscandbtricks they are only willing to share for a price, so This is much appreciated and hence why you hot so much love for this piece! Very captivating and comical too!💛
lmaoooo… this is funny as hell!!! Great pointers… I agree…
Great tips
Good read. You left me wanting more. 🐾
😉 thanks. Nice paws.