Blogging has its peaks and valleys, but lately it’s been a whole lot of valley and no peaks. You remember the days when you had that ephemeral 50-view post, but now things are beginning to look bleak. Its been a tough few weeks for your blog. You’ve noticed the steady decline, from 50 views to 10 – all the way down to a paltry 2. You were once a proud blogger with aspirations of glory and success, now you beg for a simple “like” and prostitute yourself off on the nearest Facebook blog share post. With tears strolling down your face, you believe this might be the end to your prolific blogging career. Your blog is dying – and you might be right unless, you want to do something about it!
I share in your pain, I really do. I once shed tears for bloggers who have long since passed, now I simply drink them and it tastes delicious. In case you’re wondering, they come in two flavors, fruit punch and mango pineapple.
All blogging beverages aside – if your blog looks like the grim reaper has come to reap the remains of your latest post, its time to resuscitate that sombitch. No blogs are dying on my watch, even if that means we have to put you on a respirator.
Oh, and there will have to be a few surgeries, highly cosmetic of course. A butt and breast augmentation might steer things in your direction and keep your blog interesting at least. Hell, who am I kidding? Your blog is going to look so good, by the time I’m finished with it, you might end up winning a Leibster award, (Doubtful) or a lame old Grammy.
Look at me fam…
Social media make over.
{Blogging is a lot like being in a relationship}, if you want to keep the eternal pyres of passion burning, you have to put in some effort. Put out once in a while and for god sakes show some cleavage. Do the things other blogs are trying and do it better. Otherwise, your blog is going to die a slow lonely death and your once loyal following will migrate over to me. (Whoops, too late)
Reinvigorate your blog by sharing your page to the world! You’ve admittedly been a bit of a prude, but its time to show what you got. Even if it isn’t pretty.
Well — I suppose if you are going to bare it all to the world in your finest birthday suit, you could do with a bit of a make over.
Put your best foot forward and publish content that you are actually proud of. Mitigate grammatical and spelling mistakes so that when other’s read your posts, they see it for the shining beacon of excellence that it is. Doing all of this will make it easier for others to share your work and leave you feeling confident in what you shared as well.
What’s that? You don’t know how to share?
You spoiled little brat.
Learn how to share your blog and stop it from dying.
If you want to keep this blog alive, you will have to not only master the ways of the force, but also how to share on each major social media network. I’m talking about the usual suspects, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter and the enigmatic entity known as Pintrest. Essentially, this could be a post in and of itself, but like the loyal Lion I am, I’m going to try to condense all of this information into a tiny neat package for you. Now you can take with you to work in the morning. (Boy, you are lucky I’m in a good mood.)
Facebook: Join blogging groups. I repeat, join blogging groups. If you are really clever, join groups that are also in your niche (if you have one). For example, if you blog about anxiety, join an anxiety support group, then engage and share within the forum. Beyond that, create a sharing schedule and become proficient in when and where each post can be shared, as every Facebook blogging group has a day where you can promote your blog as much as you’d like.
Pintrest: Pinning is one-part witchcraft and the other part Narnia……Use a free program like Canva to create your own engaging indelible pins. Then proceed to pin, repin and pin some more. That’s right, stick it in really good. You need to pin like you really mean it. Pin like you are at singles speed dating and people need to see your damn name. Set up a business account as quickly as you can and then get rich pins. You heard right. Rich pins. No they do not make you rich, but they enrich the pins themselves with more detail and metadata which make your pins more searchable and pinnable.
There is a method to the madness however, one that I am still working out myself. And because I am not the authority on all things pintrest check out this page which should bridge the gap for you in my stead.
Instagram: “Doing it for the gram” is a very exciting endeavour. By now, you might already be a hotshot Instagram model, if so, your blog shouldn’t be dying. If it is, you are not doing it right. I know, I know, you hashtag with the best of them, but you still have to put in the time like anyone else and engage with other grammers. Like posts, comment and follow people, sprinkle a little fairy dust and you will see growth there as well.
Instagram can be quite gratuitous however, with all of the shimmering skin and lack of clothing, it’s a wonder why you can’t get any viable traffic. That just means you have to work twice as hard. Ladies, its time to bring out the big guns, I’m talking machine guns…show it off girl. I won’t be mad. (Sorry guys, you might be screwed.)
Twitter: “I am the best tweeter in the entire world, my tweets literally save American lives every single day. I’m pretty sure that without my tweets, twitter as a whole would cease to exist.” – Donald Trump. See the P.O.T.U.S account for more information.
Keep your blog interesting by trying something new, sexier tag lines.
It’s not enough to create a fantastic blog post, you need to make them want to read it. Learn the art of seduction. Wear that red dress I left out for you and leave them wanting more.
I mention this in my previous post. “Why no one is reading your blog.” Which, you really should read right now because your blog is dying and you need anything and everything at your disposal, you sad deplorable mess you. But since you are already here grovelling at my paws, I suppose I could teach you a thing or two.
Your title is everything. These babies need to sizzle off the stove and force your audience to click on the post. Remember, there are millions of posts everyday, so yours needs to stand out, make your title something so delicious, so insatiably appetizing,