Crafting the perfect blog post

 

You sit, toiling away in the fleeting hours of the night, sweat beading down your disgusting forehead as you try your hardest to make sure this post is the one, the very best that no one ever was.

Lately your readers have been less than loyal and more than likely, coming to my page. But then again, who doesn’t? You’re, here aren’t you?

Not to worry my young Padawan, the love doctor is in, and I got the potion that’s going to get people to love your blog. One sip of this stuff and you’ll be the master blogger you actually fancy yourself to be. That’s right! Now you’ll be able to travel across the land, searching far and wide for all of those followers you should have had by now. Teach them the power that’s inside your blog, because damn it, you gotta catch ‘em all.

Pokemon!

Time…use it.

 

I mentioned before in an earlier post titled, “why I only post once a week” that posting less often and taking more time to write a post increases the potential success and consequently the level of engagements. This is why I don’t simply just write a blog post and publish it. Nope, I write a post, edit it and continue to edit it until it reads well and flows the exact way I want. This takes time and a lot of alcohol, so you should invest in that. (The alcohol I mean)

By the time Sunday rolls around my post should be close to how I want it, and even then, I’m looking at revising awkward sentences and trying to figure out ways to make things not only sound funnier, but actually help at the same time.

So, whilst my herd of followers (i.e. you two, actually three now, I’m growing fast!) might want me to post every two days, there is a secret that each post must go through before I can post it. Not the editing and correcting grammatical errors that I mentioned earlier. No, each post must go through a gauntlet of trials, testing its wit, intellect and wisdom and if it can pass those tests then it gains entry to the blogging elders. Perched atop Mount Blogomere resides three old men, that fancy themselves the oracles of the blogosphere. These old bastards, stare and mock every single one of my posts until its “good enough” to receive their blessing. So, if my post comes a day late now you know why.

Man, those guys are assholes.

Stop worrying about stats

 

SEO this, Niche that…. look, just write your blog and have fun doing it. We get caught up with all of these metrics and numbers when none of that stuff should even matter. If you want to be a great blogger, then write blogs, I’m not saying the other stuff isn’t important, but do not compromise the brand of your blog by obsessing over other things.

Focus on writing high quality content an putting the time and effort required in sweeping your audience off their feet with your words. You want to woo them, sticking to the numbers can create scenarios that trap you within the fixings of blogging. Creating a truly great blog post doesn’t begin by playing it safe, its all about going against the grain and leaving the stats behind, although its nice to get a million views a day. (Still waiting here.)

Make sure its evergreen

 

Your content should leave a long lasting, potentially burning sensation in the minds of your readers – ok, maybe burning is a bit too far, but it should be memorable.

People create blogs for every reason under the sun, but if you are looking to have a very successful blog, you should create content that helps others in some way. I truly believe that if your intent is to guide other people you will be more successful, because everyone needs assistance at something and your masterful knowledge will create a bridge between their skill level and yours. I look at each blog post as an attempt at “beaming me up Scotty” – fun, futuristic and diverse.

Beyond that, each blog post, should be useable regardless of the date it is read. So, aspire to make posts that age well, like fine wine or Whitney Houston.

Her music you monster, I know she’s dead. Rest in peace.

 

Keep your blog posts short and sweet

 

Listen, I understand that sometimes you can’t fit a post into a neat little box, lord knows I have written some essays on here, essays that could change the world if anyone would spend the days it would take to read my blog posts. That’s the thing, you want people to actually read your post, so keep it short and sweet, kind of like a chocolate bar. No – exactly like a chocolate bar.

Be genuine in each blog post

 

Who are you? Who who, who who?

Aside from sounding like a perpetual owl, you should find out who you are and what your blog is about. While you’re at it, find your voice! (Oh, if you don’t know where it is, then click here.)

Now that you have your “Morgan-Freeman-sipping-on-coffee-in-the-morning-voice” you should aspire to write content that you are passionate about and have some sass girl. Dare to turn some heads and piss someone off, as long as you are true to yourself, so too will your subscribers and those who hesitantly decide to read your blog.

Remember, fake love is good for no one.

Make sure you put your best foot forward

 

Every blog post is a showcase of not only your writing, but your brand. If you write like absolute garbage, people might be offended. Some, on the other hand might like it. (The crazies) So whatever you do, understand that it should be at a consistent standard. It might even behove you to try and figure out what that is. I try to make sure every post is read 8-10 times and I still make errors. Make sure to edit your work so that it reads well. No one wants to read a post they cannot understand.

I call it the cookie monster rule. It might be a great idea, but if no one understands it, it doesn’t work.

Don’t get caught with your hand in the cookie jar. Cookies!

 

Embrace imperfection

 

Ironically the key to writing the perfect blog post is embracing the imperfection that is you. Being perfect isn’t all that its cracked up to be. Trust me I know. Your imperfections are what make you awesome, those experiences that scarred you or make you different is what will draw your audience, don’t stray from who you are to become part of the collective voice, have your own voice and shout it loud. We don’t need another cookie cutter blog, its time to go against the grain. Shredded wheat if you will.

Spin the lottery wheel of blog posts

 

Look, you are going to write some killer blog posts. Some of them will take you far to long to write and leave you with red beady eyes and sweat dripping on the computer keys, only to have that one reader come by and read your post (aka your mom) or, if your lucky that weird stalker guy will have a sniff of it as well. Then there will be other posts, that quite literally come out of every ungodly orifice of your body and plummet onto the computer screen. (Phew, disgusting.) Yet, these posts, will inexplicably do ten times better than the other ones.

Sometimes, its all a game of chance, so keep writing until you hit the jackpot baby!