If you have ever happened upon my blog and wondered to yourself, “Why did he title his blog, the Nerdy Lion?” Then asked yourself, “Wait, Lions can be nerdy?” Don’t worry, you are in good company and will be happy to know I am the very first of my kind. Moreover, it’s because, well – I am a nerd. A nerd who hasn’t always been successful in social situations. Let me rephrase. A nerd who has single-handedly redefined the term “awkward” and learned how to mitigate enough of his odd tendencies in order to exist in the world we live in. Even now, deep within the recesses of my mind still remain memories that make me cringe, memories of times when I was so very awkward that even now, as an old lion, I am filled with regret.
For some context, if there was a Richter scale of strange, originally, I would have been Sheldon of big bang theory level odd. Now, I’m more like J. D from Scrubs. Clearly still white and nerdy, but with a twinge of awesome and oh so lovable…oh who am I kidding, the levels of awesome are damn near unbearable.
As the lord of all that is awkward, I bid thee fair welcome my gawky malcontent child. You have spent most of your years in wonderland, and if you are beginning to feel a bit like Alice, please let me give you safe passage to the realm of the living – you know, the place where everyone else lives.
So from the cute girl with the Iron Maiden shirt (your awesome by the way), to the guy with the thick glasses and the Norman Bates hairdo,(less awesome) if you want to acclimate to society as best as you can and learn a few of the normalities that (up to this point) have clearly evaded you, then maybe just maybe you too will feel the warm embrace of the opposite sex (and or same). Or not.
Warning: This advice will most definitely not fix your perpetual single-hood, however being less awkward will at the very least open the door to potential engagements and most likely opportunities, where you can feel free to mess up at any time.
Self-fulfilling prophecy of awkward:
If you say to yourself, “Gosh, gee willikers batman, I am as awkward as a duck. I bet I can’t say one thing that won’t be received in a strange way.” Guess what, that’s exactly what will happen. Now, don’t get me wrong, you are awkward, but that doesn’t mean people can’t believe you are less awkward than you are.
Be positive about your inner strange, you can even go so far as calling it “stranger things.” And instead of the aforementioned negativity, use positive affirmations like this, “You’re going to love this.” Or “I know the droids they are looking for.” And the best one. “I deserve a pizza and you know what my butt does look good today.”
Even if they don’t positively fall in love with you right away, you will eventually come across someone (probably drugged) who will enjoy the vibe you are putting off. Use that and continue down the path of righteous awkwardness.
Joker said it best, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger.”
From my personal experience, it’s all about the energy that you exude. If it’s positive, good things will happen (most of the time) If its negative bad things will happen (most of the time.) This is because we create our own destiny and you can impact the way other people receive based off the energy you emit. Something to think about the next time you ask a girl/guy on a date.
Be yourself and don’t be afraid to shine
Wear your weird on your sleeve – literally! Some people get tattoos or wear boisterous clothes (Like me) Don’t be afraid to go outside and embrace all the things you like, even if it is deemed strange. Listen, your bug collection is every bit as awesome as you think it is and honestly, other people’s opinions don’t really matter.
If it makes you happy, then do it! When it all boils down into a hot steamy soup of noodles and vegetables, some people will like that stuff and others won’t. If you are lucky enough to find friends who are equally as awkward as you are, don’t let them go, these people may just be your soul mates. If anything, create a soul bond with them and tether them to your existence forever. Good luck and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Repeat encounters with women and men:
For normal people, talking to others is easy – just as simple as breathing. You, on the other hand are diametrically opposed to normality, so, you need practice.
Find reasons to talk to others. Look for things you might have in common and create conversation about things like clothes, tattoos and other tangible objects. Then proceed to give compliments. Sure, they will be awkward at first, but after some practice you will be able to generate conversation without sweating like you just ran a 5k. After every successful encounter when you manage to forgo the Vulcan salute, be sure to pat yourself on the back.
I personally like to award myself ratings on certain encounters ranging from “awkward guy on the bus” to “Lando Calrissian.”
By now, I have acquired enough data to foresee a plethora of situations and because of this, have a running script of things I normally say and variations I can work from – kind of like a robot. So, when approached I seem damn near normal these days, but the truth is, it’s just all going to plan!
If you want to get into pathological levels of OCD you can try to imagine every potential scenario and literally plan a response to that possibility, however, since your name is not Spock, it is not logical nor necessary to do so.